A huge component of “finding my way back” from severe burnout as a kidney doctor was understanding that the white coat was just one of my identities.
Most importantly the white coat wasn’t even my authentic self.
Being a healer was.
Years before I could figure out that my white coat was just an identity that I could take on and off, I became a mom-to-be. At that time, I wasn’t prepared to be a mom. You see, I still had grand dreams of being a superstar in academic medicine, heading up a renal division in some prestigious university and that didn’t fit with my bulging belly. That thought pattern was firmly reinforced by the “helpful” statements made by my male mentors. “Well you can’t be in academics and be a mom.” “She might have been able to pull off one kid but her career is ruined now that she’s going to have a second.” The lack of any senior females in our division was the exclamation mark to those factual statements and I would always pull my white coat tight to hide my femininity, the curse of being XX, a female, when striving for academic glory.
But in truth, I had always wanted to be a mom and I realized that if I was going to be a halfway decent one, my 80+ hour weeks (along with my loving neglect of my incredibly understanding husband) weren’t going to cut it.
I had to figure out how to switch from my white coat to my home identity.
To truly leave Dr. Bogaert, kidney doctor, NIH scientist behind when I entered my house.
That’s when I realized that having a ritual -a process just like the one you use to don your surgical coat and gloves- was essential to being able to switch.
Can you identify as a healer without your white coat? What are some things you do as a white coat that a healer wouldn’t have to do? COMMENT BELOW